How to ensure that you stay a smoker for the rest of your life
1. The best start is with an addictive personality. The more in
denial you are of your addictive personality the longer you will be
comfortable with the idea that you could easily quit.
2. Believe that smoking is relaxing. Ignore that the reason it is calming you down is because you are taking deep breaths.
3. Look to nicotine as a savior and romanticize it whenever you can.
4. Believe to the roots of your soul that you look cool whilst you
are smoking, blow seductively when you exhale, and look out of the
corner of your eye, secure in the knowledge that you are captivating
anyone who is looking at you. The more you believe this, the more
defiance you will show anyone who disapproves of your habit.
5. See the cancer warnings on the box as decoration, as propaganda
or you could block them out from your mind entirely. You could also choose to like them –
pick a favourite and make fun of them as often as you can and laugh
until you get out of breath – which will be easier for you since you
regularly deprive yourself of oxygen.
6. Be terrified of doing nothing and or/being seen doing nothing and use a cigarette to keep yourself busy.
7. Hang around other smokers as much as possible
8. Roll your eyes at non-smokers when they tell you it’s bad for you
9. Have a mean look for people who try to stop you from smoking, it
should be effective against any future ideas they might have for getting
in your way. When your look is perfected all none-smokers should be
too terrified to mention that your smoke is clogging up their lungs,
making their voice scratchy, that it smells bad and that it’s unfairly
making them pay for your habit.
10. Factor cancer in at the same possibility as a car accident
11. On that note include that people die every day and eat healthy and still suffer terrible illnesses
12. Refuse to feel guilty when you get bronchial illnesses and
anything lung-related. See it as an occupational hazard or better still
convince yourself that it is unrelated.
13. Insist that it is a habit (refuse to believe it is a bad one) or
a hobby and not an addiction and that you can stop anytime you want
14. Do things that encourage you to smoke– sit in the smoking section, drink alcohol, go to UCT.. that sort of thing.
15. Believe that smokers are a society and you all look out for each other
16. Know the science of smoking and its effect so that when anyone
tells you about it you can feel extra self-satisfied when you say, “I
know”
by Gugu Mamba